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Being in the artist alley with Floyd, Nancy, and our new friend, Sal, yesterday was a lot of fun. I made much less than I had hoped but thatapos;s okay because everyone was so lively and friendly. The attendance for this year was severely disappointing so losing money was to be expected. :P

And we gave away 55 free "Vote No on Prop 8" buttons while we were at it. Itapos;s too bad we didnapos;t make more of them. Some people actually came to our table looking for those after we ran out. Actually, itapos;s too bad we gave them our FOR FREE. Itapos;s not free to make but a lot of them didnapos;t seem to realize that. And some attendees even told us they would have paid for it after we ran out. I think handing those out for free made the pins that we were selling lose value because not many people purchased pins while we were giving "free" stuff. They feel like theyapos;ve stopped by our table for a reason already, so they leave without buying anything.. Oh psychology. Itapos;s a good learning process for what works and what doesnapos;t work.

Highlights of the convention:
When all the artists on our aisle banded together to sell items for $1 each towards the end of the day. And when our new friend, Anton, announced very loudly that he will be purchasing one of our great and amazing items for just one dollar.

And also, seeing that most everyone wanted a "No on 8" pin.
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Iapos;ve still got a rattle in my chest, and after ThatGuy and I both took a day off last week, weapos;re still under the weather. Things were postponed, jelly did *not* get made (those grapes are still sitting outside in the carport), and the painting waited for the weekend. Ignoring bouts of extreme sweating due to ickiness, I managed to tape off, cut in and paint 6/7ths of my bedroom - before I ran out of paint. I saw it coming - eyeballed it after the first wall required more paint than it should have, and questioned to the end whether I could stretch it. I could see hints of poor coverage in several spots, so I opted to be pleased with my work, rather than merely finished. Hereapos;s hoping Ralph Lauren paint comes in smaller cans, cause I donapos;t need another gallon All in all, it is a very, very, very, yellow, cheerful room :)

We washed all our bedding and comforters, and hung them on the line for what may be the last time until Spring - itapos;ll be back to the energy-gobbling dryer when itapos;s cold and wet out. Vacuumed mattresses and ran the pillows through the dryer to get rid of dust and such.

Baked four loaves of breakfast bread (2 zucchini, 2 banana) with half whole wheat flour, some amaranth, flax seed and millet thrown in to make it more nutritious. That guy made special salsa for the twitchywitchy household all by himself. Such a nice boy

We are soon to be the proud owners of a brand new fridge - our first major appliance purchase *gasp* The $1100 dollar fridge was on clearance for $900 (no taxes), and will be an even better purchase after the EnergyStar rebate ($50), and Hydro picks up our apos;secondapos; fridge ($30 rebate) - a far better deal than having Sears haul our old one away for a $20 charge

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*Sigh.

I love having a day OFF. I never get them anymore. Iapos;ve been totally loving every minute of fall and getting ready for Halloween. Iapos;m in such a good space mentally that Iapos;m not just lying in bed watching movies, as much fun as that is.

Yesterday after work I went with Marta to Iron Kettle Farm. This place made Edmunsonapos;s look tiny. There was a hay ride, a spook barn, a pumpkin sling shot, hay jump, pumpkin train for the wee ones, petting zoo, pumpkin scenes, and of course lots of yummy food. I bought lots of pumpkins.

This morning I woke up around 9 and ran out to Gimme to get coffee for me and Kelly. We watched the office drinking said coffee curled up with the 3 cats. Then lunch at Taste of Thai then the Halloween Illusion show @ the State Theatre.

The show was OK. I think David Copperfield has kind of blown it for other professional magicians in that really, nothing can compare. Plus, working in the theatre, I know how a lot of illusions are made. But still, seeing the kids having so much fun made it more fun. One little boy in the front row asked him if he was Harry Potter. It was very cute.

Guess thatapos;s it. I think Iapos;m going to watch Sean of the Dead while Kellyapos;s out, since zombies freak her out.

xoxo

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God I love that Merton XD

Watched meh first episode of Big Wolf Of Campus (thanks to bwoc.org/KACI O.O MWAHH)

I like Tommy too. Heapos;s fucking comedy. Jennifer is NOW: TOMMY DAWKINS. Dun dun dun. New nicknames. I canapos;t remember what our last set was, so about time for a new one, Iapos;d say Guess who takes over the role of Merton

*silence*...*rolls eyes raises hand* Yeah RIGHT HERE. Hah HAH

"...How..to...talk..to..your kids...Urban Edition?"- Tommy D

That just CRACKS me UP. Bwahaha.

...MERTON IS NAKED O.O GNAAHH XD

Merton:*clinging to computer screen* "Come on You donapos;t understand You donapos;t know how bad I want it"

Sister:I thought mom and dad blocked those sites.

-Sao

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One cat and Dog taken to be boarded this morning.
FedEx was indeed open on Saturdays: two packages picked up after dropping off the pets, and they were the London-Paris and Paris-Amsterdam train tickets, as expected.
There is no luggage store anywhere in Columbia, it appears. The nearest one is apparently in Boonville, 25 miles west on I-70. Target has a small selection, but I found satisfaction.

So all thatapos;s left of the must-do list is to get the other cat in to the vetsapos; for boarding on Monday afternoon, followed by a badly needed haircut for me. This leaves the rest of the weekend for relaxing, computer stuff, and figuring out which files I want to load the portable computer with. (Well, I could mow the lawn, I suppose, for what I suspect may be the last time this year.)
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Iapos;m back to my old self yet again. Tonight I feel the sting of the loneliness I have to endure. Itapos;s Friday night. Everyone is out with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Every friend of mine has no time anymore. Iapos;m the only single one left.� "Lots of guys want you" is what everyone tells me. I respond with "They donapos;t want to be with me, they just want to do me."��itapos;s just that. There comes a time when the senseless hooking up one night stands becomes old meaningless...itapos;s always meaningless. Iapos;m glad Iapos;m smart enough to NOT get caught up in that.� I donapos;t give my heart so easily, but I have been trying not to lately. Iapos;m finding it harder harder not to fall Iapos;m really starting to like this new one more more. I think this might be why Iapos;ve been struggling lately. Having to hold back just hurts. Iapos;m tired of going to bed lonely every night. I still wake up at the times my ex would call me in the middle of the night. My body is still used to waking up on itapos;s own. When you do it for so long, I guess itapos;s hard to get out of routine. Except thereapos;s no ring of the phone. Thereapos;s no voice. Thereapos;s nothing. Thereapos;s silence. Iapos;m alone. Itapos;s still hard to get used to. Iapos;m so depressed tonight,��I canapos;t quite figure out why. It started last night. Something snapped inside me. Iapos;m the girl everyone wants to be with if they need a rebound. Iapos;m the girl everyone wants to hook up with while theyapos;re still with somebody else. Both of those arenapos;t good. Iapos;m the girl everyone wants to do when theyapos;re just looking for a hookup. Very unfilling. Iapos;m not a whore. I have dignity. I definitely do not sleep around.�All of this I know already. Iapos;m waiting, but not sure for what. Iapos;m always surrounded by people, but still that lonely feeling burns like fire. I always thought people who wrote blogs like this were boring, unattractive, pathetic. Iapos;m none of those things for sure. Maybe pathetic, but whatever. Most people donapos;t take me seriously� expect me to be that slutty blonde. Maybe thatapos;s why Iapos;m so appealing to the guys that are already taken. I feel pathetic writing this Iapos;ve felt like shit all day. Work sucked, the drive to�McHenry sucked. Iapos;m just having a horrible day. Iapos;m hoping tomorrow will be better. So itapos;s 9:30 on a Friday night,��Iapos;m about to go to bed. Itapos;d be nice to have some good girlfriends to go out with. Ones that arenapos;t entirely completely consumed by their other relationships. I remember what that was like. I would never do it again. I know better now.
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I am in a total carb coma. Mmmm....

Itapos;s in the high 60apos;s outside, which is chilly for Louisiana this time of year. Itapos;s also overcast and misting a bit.

So for lunch, I decided on my fave "healthy but filling" cold-weather meal at Wendyapos;s: a small chili w/cheese + a sour cream chive potato....I mixed a bit of chili in w/the potato, and of course smashed all my crackers into the rest of the chili. NOM.

For dinner, I decided to heat up some leftovers from last nightapos;s Cheesy Hashbrown Hamburger Turkey Helper...and decided plain leftovers were NOT sufficient. So I grabbed an aging but still OK tomato from the fridge, a little bit of lite mayo, and a couple slices of Wonder Bread....used the mayo as glue to hold the tomato slices to the bread, then spread the heated cheesy hashbrown mix on the other piece. Smooshed them together, and devoured. NOM.

It disappeared too quickly for me to capture this delicacy w/a camera. :)

Whatapos;s your favorite "gray day" food?

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�

DEATH

All I�can say is that the photos shown today was horrifying. Itapos;s horrifying as well to see the ways people get killed, slashed one another, and turn out to be after death. Life is so brief and fragile. One guy got hit by a fallen cupboard and his face was twisted to one side. A mother was pregnant with two babies, one outside the womb and the other inside; her body could not take the pressure and all died. And another one with multiple laceration (slashes) on his face, from a gang fight maybe. The tsunami victims. And rape victims as well. Their wounds... Sigh...

But all these just make me feel the weakness of life. And the cruelty of mankind.

The gore and horror of horrifying dead bodies eats into you, but in a way that it tells you the fragility of life. The forensic pathologist told us one thing he learned from the job was that to live life to the fullest.
I agree wholeheartedly. Cherish life.

DISAPPOINTMENT

Itapos;s a wonderful irony when I said cherish life, but here I am giving up on life. I�saw improvement in my school work, but alas, everyone improve with me. So, my results are still below mean. I wonapos;t hide my disappointment. Because I�have put in effort but had not been able to see any results yielded. Iapos;ve repeated this for a hundred and one times. I wonder how much more times do I�have to go on. I�hate this.

LOVE. OR�NOT.

Had a discussion with a friend last night. I told him no one could ever make me have that same feeling ever again, since many many years ago. It was just that one girl. Fast-thumping heart, tongue-tied, doing silly things, waking up in the middle of the night in tears, living in paranoia... Etc. The others after her were just like a trail to get over her. Iapos;m determined not to fall into such sorrows anymore.

And if so, why am I�missing someone else for more than half a day now? Though Iapos;ve just seen her today?

The most imperfect person would most probably be the only perfect person in your life. No more were the days you were frantically searching for Snow White nor Prince Charming. Reality settles in with age.

Half of me says that the heart has died many many years ago. It could never love, never feel, never healed. This I assumed to be the rationale half. The other half says nothing. It shows me paranoia about the possibility of losing someone, and yet the happiness of being with someone. It is the irrational half. Itapos;s frustrating that even scientific research has to divide the brain into left and right.

Sometimes I think, if I�were ever to get married, Iapos;ll have a high tendency to have an affair. And conceal it very well, That is, if I�donapos;t blog.

I couldnapos;t really differentiate well between reliance and love. Or perhaps, they are just the same. No one told me that either.

I have strict rules that govern my choice of people around me. True friends are those whom I�never ever talk about money. A simple meal or drinks would go without having to pour out the money on the table. They are those whom will call me even in midnight and I wonapos;t scream at them. My hp is on 24 hours most days, so if youapos;re a friend Iapos;ll make the effort to reply you before going back to sleep. And they are those whom Iapos;ll stand up for them even if people want to hack them to death.

But there is only one special one in my life. This, I can give up my life in exchange for hers any time she asks for it. Perhaps this is what I�defined as "that special feeling". Maybe Iapos;m a little too extreme. But it came, and went, and could never be found again.

I know, Iapos;m just trying to make a conscious effort to reject everyone I deem possible for one that is impossible. Trying hard to shut off, but it didnapos;t seem to be working.

Most of the time, I really hate myself for being such a fool.

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I want to see these two like this more often. First up, McCain:


Itapos;s a little frustrating to watch that video since it highlights the McCain I used to like.

Now, Obama:


Thatapos;s some funny poo poo.

On the gaming front, my Wii is set for sale. Kinda. I sold back all but two of my games to Gamestop and put the credit toward future purchases (Mirrorapos;s Edge and Left4Dead are alllllllll paid off). That leaves just a few controllers and the Wii collecting dust. The console hasnapos;t been turned on since April when I played my last match of Super Smash Bros. Thereapos;s only one thing thatapos;s kept me from selling it and that is the promise of a new Zelda game. I just read an article about it on IGN and now Iapos;m all excited. The Zelda franchise is near and dear to my heart, but itapos;s gotten a little stale in that the formula never seems to get tweaked very much. Thatapos;s all supposed to change in this next game. Still, itapos;s probably another year or two off at best. I just canapos;t seem to justify keeping the Wii around that long for one game. Since I can get a lot of money for it now (nearly what I paid for it), it would be sorta stupid to hang on to it for one game. Not playing a Zelda release would make me a sad panda, though. Curse Nintendo for going the non-HD route for the Wii. I should just sell it fast to get it over with, and then drown myself in Dead Space to forget my future pain.

THIS JUST IN: free blueberry muffin is now sitting to me left. Hello there, little muffin. I will eat you.
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